Development - synonym to basic needs

Yes! There have been recent developments. "Development" for me means an upgrade or an uplift as one may call it. I am sure you'd want to know more about it. I guess the word development itself gives a state of feeling which shows a positive approach. Well, the answer is Yes, again.

For people who live in a typical "Indian" family, Roti, Kapda aur Makan is the ultimate target. "I need a job with a five figure salary in my account every 1st. I wish to buy some good pair of jeans." What else Roti & Kapada is done. I remember one dialouge from the film Lagaan,"Khaney ko routi nahi houga, pehen-ne ko kpre nahi hoga" meaning" You won't have bread to eat and you won't have clothes to wear".  And the people revolt in the movie and win by scoring in the cricket match. Ah! and makaan.. As the property rates go high and high it becomes unrealistic for a common man to dream about a house. But guess what, that's not all true.

In recent past, I've encountered a different species of human race. They don't know what ROTI, KAPDA or MAKAAN is... For them their life is all about their passion and interest in what they do. Infact their passion has taken a form of FOOD, CLOTHES and HOUSE. Sounds so stereotype... I wonder why.

Why is it that I can feel her only in my dreams? - The Conclusion - (Part - 6)

"Rain rain go away, come again another day"... That is what a child sings when it sees the rain. I was in no different state of mind. I too had sung the same song that day. But somewhere deep down a chill was running continuously through my spine. Deep down, I wanted it to pour down cats and dogs. It was like the sky meets the sand. This was the day when we were going to meet for the first time. First time ever in a manner which I was feeling for her. First time in a manner, when I was proposing a girl (atleast...)

"Aaj unse pehli mulakaat hogi,
Phir aamne saamne baat hogi,
Phir hoga kya kya pata kya khabar...

-----

I was waiting at the coffee shop that we both knew off. It was getting more and more tense before I could see her coming. I was keeping an eye on every similar vehicle which she rode. It started raining hard and I thought to check with her. But the phone remained unanswered. A sense of fear struck me. What if she's not coming? This rain.. .aaah... Why is it pouring down now? Should it not wait till the girl reaches the point. What if she doesn't come because of this? I'll never have a chance again. I might not be able to gather the courage to meet her.

Trring Trring... Trring Trring..(I don't remember what was the ringtone of my cellphone), my cellphone rang. It was her.

"Kahaan pe khada hai tu?"

"I am standing at the main door."

"Ok.."

Before I could disconnect the call, she was right there in front of me. Aaaaah! she was right there.. There.. yes, there she was. I swear it was an disastrous moment for me. Ha ha ha.. I laughed.


We went inside and found a place at the corner. That was the only place remaining to be occupied. Even at that moment I felt that it was virtually reserved for us. Wow! the eternity was playing its part too.


"Hmm, so tell me. Kya hua achanak tuje?" She asked with a typical smile.

"Umm.. well ...aaa... u know it was like..umm..." I stuttered.

"Cool down, its ok.... aaram se bol"... she consoled me.

"You know, there were instances which led to...

"Arey, tuje nahi lagta yahaan pe bohot shor hai?, can we go to some place else?" she intterupted.

"Huh! yeah, we can, well we can go for a drive, in my car... Yeah infact, we can do that. Atleast shanti hogi gaadi mein"

"Ok Lets go" she confirmed

-----

We drove all the way in the city for almost an hour and half. I initiated by telling her about what I felt and what I expect out of this conversation. She listened carefully. I fumbled a thousand times when I tried telling her  looking into her eyes. I stuttered while using English and I lost the words while telling her things in Hindi.

"Its ok Jay, u can use Gujarati if you want.." she consoled again while smiling.

The meeting went well. We went to our regular tea stall. I narrated everything about my engagements in the past. She was still listening it, while giving the verbal nods. I felt like I was almost there. But, but, I didn't propose her. Instead....

"See, I don't expect any answer from you, not atleast now. Cause I just felt telling you how I feel about you and seriously I do not care anything about your answer. All I wanted to do was to tell you how I feel. So faltu ka load mat lena.".....

But I knew by tell her this, mein faltu ka load lay raha tha.

She kept on listening, and she questioned me few things to which I answered promptly. All the while talking to her I was too busy in maintaining my mood, such that she doesn't feel offended.

-----

Finally the day came. She buzzed me on the messenger. It was her turn to tell me her side of the story. The day when I told her everything, I was the one who talked. Now, she was doing all the talking. She gave all her reasons, the way I did. She told everything from her side, the way I did. She told everything about how she feels about me, the way  I did.

She was at relief and so was I. She was at content and so was I. We talked further and things started to roll...It rolled the way we both concluded.

-----

Rainy season, this year. It was raining heavily. Heartily is an understatement. The message from the girl elated me. We were going to enjoy the rains. She confirmed her arrival, while I was waiting for it sitting at my desk in the office. The day was over for me and I moved down for a ride on her moped....It was raining within...

Why is it that I can feel her only in my dreams? - The Revealation - (Part - 5)

No wonder how strong a person is, Love tests the truth in one's patience and tolerance. I've been through this but I was....

Falling in love, Falling in Love,
Falling in Love, All over again.

Is she the one?, for her, I am the one?
These questions I ask, All over again
I like the smile, I like the laugh,
Is what I feel, all over again.

Heart says yes, Mind says no,
What should I do? Oh not again,
I want to tell, and her to know
What do I feel, all over again

---

It was a pretty awesome situation and even more awful. Awesome it was because of the feeling, awful because I couldn't share it with anyone. I remember one of the song from one of her favourite movie(I guess).

Nigaahon mein dekho meri jo hain bas gaya,
Woh hai milta tumse hu ba hu,
Jaane teri aankhein thi ya, baatien thi wajah,
Hue tum jo dil ki aarzo,
Tum paas hoke bhi, tum aas hoke bhi,
Ehsaas hokey bhi, apne nahi aise hai
Humko gile, tum se na jaane kyun

After that conversation, it was pretty much obvious that things were going to change. Although it was quite uncertain, I was clear about what I was going through. I had no regret, no feeling of guilt. It was an original feeling. I felt like a Phoenix, that rises from the ashes. Well, there were no ashes, and I was no Phoenix, but I was rejuvenating. All I can say that it was so beautiful. We met couple of times after that, but she was not aware about what I going through. Even a single glance made me feel on top of the world. Why not?

There were no reasons when I realized my feelings. But, now my eyes were looking for one, and I found many. It's like you have found a treasure and now you evaluate why is it so valuable. I was yet not able to find the answers to my questions, but I definitely knew that She is the only answer to my questions.

---

As the days went by, the feeling got even more stronger. Stronger to the height that it was impossible to return. But who wanted to return? All I wanted was to get to the peak. I was only half the way towards the peak. Yes, she was yet to know what I was feeling. I chose not to tell her anything. I had a fear of loosing a friend. Infact, I had made a girl as a friend after a very long time. I've seen situations like this around me, when things become complicated just because a girl/boy reveals the feeling to the special one. But it was not helping me. Help is what I needed. After all how good is it if you don't tell someone that you love him/her? Well, it is very good untill your assumptions break. My assumption was limited to my thoughts. Everytime you need a kick or a hit on your head to realize. A moment of truth again.

I learnt she was moving away forever. Away from the friends, people, ME. Abhi to kahani shuru bhi nahi hui thi aur khatam bhi ho gai. Now what? What should I do? I couldn't tell about her to anyone, not even to my closest buddies. Whole day was like a year to me. I never wanted it to be the last day where I could think of her. I was very well convinced that she never had any other thoughts about me. But still, naa zor dil pe chale....

I picked up my cell and dialled her number

"Hey... kya haal chaal?

"Arey ekdam maza... Tu bata kya chal raha hai?"

"Umm.. thik hi chal raha hai...but.. a..ea" I stuttered.

"Well kya baat hai? Kem atke chhe atlo badho?"

"You know I was framing words for what I wanted to tell you?"

"Tujhe kabse sentences frame karne ki zaroorat padne lagi hai, Non-stop baat karte waqt framing kaha jaata hai tera...ha ha ha.. but bol naaa... kya hua?" that "bolnaaaaa"... is a typical way of her to emphasise. I could sense her anxiety, her restlessness and her irritation.

"Aa its like, you know,... I was kind of having different feelings for you....

"What? kya feelings? Saaf saaf bolnaa...!

"I mean, wohi special kind of feeling, not the regular kind of you know?"

"No I don't know.. Wait... Tu mazaak to nahi kar raha hai na?"

"Nahi yaar... mein zara bhi mazaak nahi kar raha"

"Are you serious?" God damn I was so serious

"Ok.. Lets do one thing... why don't we meet up? I'd want to say this when you are in front of me?"

There I said it... I had the gut feeling that I would ask her to meet me. And guess what I did it... Yes...Yess...

"But do you think it would make a difference if we meet.. I mean.. you know.."

"See I am not worried about the out come.. But I would not want to regret my whole life not telling you what I feel about you.... so...

"Ok ok....

"Suggest a place if you know one(God what a fool I was to ask her to meet at the place of her choice, wherein I was the one who invited her).. maybe some coffee shop..

"Ah okkay...(that's the typical way she says OK...huh!)

And we decided to meet at a place which we both knew...

Why is it that I can feel her only in my dreams? - Realization - (Part - 4)

"YES", is very much a relative term.

Do you want money? YES, one would like to have it.
Do you want satisfaction? YES, one would want it.
Do you want success? YES, one would desire it.

Do you want to fall in love? Aah!, now that's a tricky question isn't it.

Of course it is. Well I know you'd have your ready answer if I ask you, and you'd blow it on my face, but, the truth is everyone wants to be loved, pampered and cared by someone special. It would be quite obvious if people say YES. What will you name a person who says NO? A moron, dumb, insensitive and unrealistic pig, who doesn't know the difference between puddle and pond. But tell me, what is the difference? Puddle is dirtier than pond or pond is more clean as compared to puddle, isn't it? So if YES is the pond and NO is the puddle, I'd prefer puddle. Seems like you are thinking, my past experience has made choose the puddle. I've lost my heart and I don't want to understand why pond is not necessary, isn't it? Aah! my answer is NO! see... ha ha ha...

Remember?, Deep down I had a feeling. There is somebody else... It was about time I realized, WHO?

                                                                                       ---

As the days were passing by, my conversation with friends would never cross beyond the topic of general discussion which usually people would have. Things were going fine, just the usual, ciggs and the tea and few jokes here and there. No doubt I was teased several times on not having a girlfriend and that made me giggle, blush and sometimes laugh. I don't know what people have in their mind while "selecting" a girl/boy as their love interest.

"Arey yaar tu koi girlfriend kyu nahin dhoondh leta?" As if the girlfriend is lying just around the corner. It sounded like asking for a cup of sugar from the neighbor.

"Arey bhai, ghar mein girlfriend khatam ho gayi thi, ek cup girlfriend milegi?"

I'd mostly remain silent to what these friend(s) of mine would ask? Sometimes though, I would revert with the same answer ... you know it...

"Arey mein to pasand kar bhi ...." .

I had been through all these conversations and conclusions before. One thing I knew, Love never happens intentionally. If it happens intentionally, it is Lust. Tum jaan bujh ke kisi se pyar nahi kar sakte. You'd have heard somebody asking," Kya aap mujhse dosti karengi/karoge?", but have you heard someone asking,"Kya aap mujse pyar karoge/karengi?" How ridiculous, isn't it?

                                                                                           ---

I've seen many friends falling in love and eventually getting married. I used ask them questions like,

1. What do you like about your beloved?
Ans. Oh! I like her/his smile.
         I like the way she/he looks at me.
         I like her/his eyes.
         (these are few of the answers that I've got, you can add it in your list)

2. What do you think about the nature of your beloved?
Ans. Oh! He/She is so caring.
        He/She is so supportive in whatever I do.
        He/She always ensures that I am not hurt.

3. Do you think your partner is sensible enough?
Ans. Oh! yes, of course. He/she always remembers my birthday..(Heh?)
        He/She always respects my feelings.
        He/She always treats my parents equally as his/her parents. (Oooh!)

4. So are these reasons enough to love that person?
Ans. Ah! yes, hamein aur kya chahiye, besides he/she might be also feeling the same right

This makes me remember a famous Gujarati song,

Tari aankh no afini, taara bol no bandhani,
Tara roop ni poonam no paagal eklo,

[I am doped by your eyes, I am bound by your words
I am the only crazy one mesmerised with your looks]

That seems to be the typical way of expression. Wonderful song by the way.

                                                                                   ---
I met her in a very usual circumstance. I had my hi and hello. And that's all I had. But that's all was not destined to. Days were passing by and so were the meetings. Still nothing bloomed. Whenever we met, we cracked jokes on things that we observed and we discussed about the creativity that exists in this world. All these was limited though, when on that day I learnt that she was ill.

A strong sensation ran through my spine and I felt almost a shiver through my body which made me recall those moments we shared. It was the moment of truth for me. For the first time I was having a different feeling while thinking about her. I just didn't know why? What if I loose her. You know thought runs faster than light and thus, I was on mars few secs back and now I was on earth. I had already thought a lot and now it was time to ask her how she was?

"Hey how are you doing? U not well?"
"Yes, halki si sardi aur zukham hai" (Haash, ab shanti hui)

All we had was Hi and Hello between us.  But still I was falling for it...I asked those questions to myself.

1. Was it because I liked something in her? I never noticed anything consciously
2. Was it because I liked something in her nature? It never clicked my mind
3. Did I ever judge her on sensibility? I never thought of it.
4. Was I having any reasons why I was falling for her? I am sure there is, but I find it hard to define, rather, its impossible for me to define it.

"NO" as an answer to these questions made me conclude on what I was going through... I was in Love...

Why is it that I can feel her only in my dreams? - Conscience - (Part - 3)

I woke up with a new feeling. That song, was still loud in my ears. It was an experience that I wanted to have in reality. Nevertheless, dream it was and dream it remained. It was a mixed feeling which I had. I knew that girl I saw, but was completely unknown to me. I was confused. But, I was glad about one thing,"Mujhe bhi ladkiyo ke hi sapne aate hai".

Next day was full of bliss. I felt I had seen something eternal. I am sure you'd think how eternal it can be. Par, yea baat wohi samajh sakta hai jisko pyar ka matlab pata chalta ho. Huh! I was smiling all day. Many of my colleagues noticed this.

They asked me the reason behind my unusual smile, to which I replied," Haaah!, ab kya kahu, mujhe pyaar ho gaya hai!"

One of them replied,"Yea to iska roz kaa hai, kisina kisi se to ise pyar ho hi jaata hai."

"Haan, haan mein to dil phek aashiq hoon na, aur phir tum kya jaano pyar ka hota hai.. Pyar is like..."

"Bas be zyada hawa mein mat ud... Kisse pyar ho gaya hain tereko?"

"Mujhe? Mujhe pyar se pyaar ho gaya hai.(I am in love with love)"

Everybody laughed.
                                                                                      
My mohter on seeing the same smile asked,"Shu vaat chhe. Bau form ma laage chhe. Chhokri gami gai ke shu? Keto hoi to ena ghare jaine vaat kariye?"

"What? No its nothing like that. I am just happy today. Besides there are other reasons with me to be happy."

"Oh! eva to kaya kaaran chhe?"

I couldn't answer that and I blushed.

"Beta, I am your mother, ne hu taari Chhatthi jaanu chhu.(I know your sixth sense), tara maate ek navu maagu aavyu chhe keto hoi to aapde malva jaiye"

"Na na, eni jarur nai pade" I don't know why I replied that way.

"Em to pachhi tu ke tya jaiye."

I went straight to my room and wondered why did I say that.

                                                                                     ---

I was just finishing to browse when my friend pinged me. It was quite a surprise for me. She had never pinged me late in the evening. We rolled on with regular conversation. And the topic turned towards marriage and spouses. Somehow, I was talking to her with a different feeling. I just didn't know why.

"These guys in the office, they are such dogs. Na jaan na pehchan, bas aise hi propose kar dete hai!"

"Achha kya baat hai."

"Haan aur kya? I mean abhi 1 din bhi nahi hua aur date ke liye puchh lete hai. Arey date pe aise kaise chale jaayein. Thodi jaan pehchan badhe to thik hai!"

"To matlab agar jaan pehchan wala ho to uska chance hai, kyu?"

"Haan haan, ofcourse, but, chance hai, final nahi"

"So then I guess, if someone who knows you and you know that someone,a date can be arranged right?"

"Umm.. maybe.. but I am not sure"

"Well what if that someone is like me?"

"Toh mein soch bhi sakti hoon"

"Toh phir sochh aur phir mujhe bata"

That was the most unusual way a guy would have proposed a girl. Was that even a proposal? Yea right!

"Kya matlab? soch aur phir mujhe bata"

"Matalab ke soch aur phir mujhe bata."

"You are not serious, are you?"

"Mein bilkul serious hoon." I was still wondering why I was saying this. I am sure the girls like to be proposed in a more typical manner or rather an unusual manner. Unusual! I guess this was one of the innovative style.

"But, yaar .... I mean, tu mazaak to nahi kar raha hai?"

Girls like to be loved. They want someone to praise them, in true sense. They always feel that they should be desired. And when somebody does ask,,, they feel surprised. They don't feel like believing what they've just heard.

"Nahi yaar, mein mazaak nahi kar raha hoon"


The conversation continued... and I asked her to think about it for few days.

"Take your time... But don't desert on the answer"

                                                                             ---

Few days passed without any conversation. She didn't revert on what I had asked for. I understood what she would have thought. However, I did not want to assume anything. This interval gave me a chance to ponder on what I wanted. All this time, I was still wondering why did I "propose" her. That was not even a proposal. Somewhere deep in my heart I was not convinced with myself. How can a person, someone like me, fall for someone without L factor. A dream is a dream afterall. Its not reality. I recalled many dreams during my introspection which had similar experiences. I realized I was not in Love. I cannot fool a person if I am not in love.

It was getting lot more harder for me to tell her that what ever I said was just by fluke. Sounds crazy doesn't it. I was ready to accept YES as an answer, but deep down in my heart i yearned for a No. My conscience was shaking me. She was my friend and I should not lie to her about it.

Maamu let jaa, teri to waat lagne waali hai. I was thinking of a way to find out how to apologize to her when.,

"Busy hai?"

"Kuchh Khas nahi"

"Baat karni thi, free ho tab batana"

"Mein free hoon, tu bol, mein sun raha hoon"

"First of all, I am sorry that I didn't talk to you for last few days."

"Its ok, I am sure you would have stuck somewhere between your work and family. So tell me how's life?"

"Remember you had asked for......So then, the date is final. Please reach there on time, rest I'll tell you once we meet. Baba aani aai la bhetaila paije, nantar aapan goshti karuya"

E hooo.. I was going to meet her parents, his kid brother and few other friends who were there with us in the school. Her family members were quite unknown to me, but I thought it will be an easy session as she's going to be there with me.

Haah! you'd say I am so mean. Ek baaju mana kar raha hai doosri taraf ladki ke rishtedaaron se setting mein laga hai... Well, what's wrong in it. After all it was marriage time. Her family members had chosen a groom for her. The date was final. I remember meeting her mother when we were in school and her brother was in my younger sister's class. Her relatives can definately take a helping hand from me.

                                                                                 ---

So, it happened and it happened well. One fine day after the marriage we touched upon the topic where I had made this proposal to her. We laughed and laughed. Her husband joined in too. Oh by the way the name of the groom was Mr. Sachin Usgaokar.

In a way, my conscience saved me from loosing my friend. It made me realize the fact. Deep down I had a feeling. There is somebody else... It was about time I realized, WHO?

Why is it that I can feel her only in my dreams - A new begining (Part-2)

Desert which deserts pepole, was no longer there. I was with the people who matter the most in my life. My partents and my sister. We all were meeting after 3 months straight. It was a relief that I was home. A new begining! No more nightmares about the past! No more phone calls that are argumentive! No more replies that do not suffice your partner's hunger for answers. What I thought would be a Thomas Crown affair was just another day in my life.

                                                                            ---

A new begining it was. I received a call from one of my friend about an opening with an organization which was known to me. It was over a week that I was at home relaxing day and night, hence I chose to give it a shot. I was all set for the interview. I was not at all worried. Never bothered what happened. I knew what ever I'd do I'll do well. And so it turned out that I was interviewing the selectors rather than they asking me questions. I concluded not to join the organization although it would have been a stop gap arrangement. Ek baar paisa kamana shuru karo to phir aadat ho jaati hai.

I was out of any dependency that would make me weaker against any situation. I didn't apply anywhere else. Why would I cause I knew deep in my heart that if something ends unexpectedly, something starts unexpectedly too. Lo and behold. The day came and I was asked to join my previous organization in my hometown. And without any hesitation I took the offer. Not because I was jobless, but because something was calling me. My passion towards that organization. My first love. This was the place from where I started my career. I'd call it, Almamater

I believe, coming back to Almamater was just a sign that things are going to change. A change for good. I was welcomed back by everyone. I met all those who got trained under me. They were more excited than me to find me back in Almamater.

                                                                           ---

Days were passing by, and I had been meeting new people in my hometown. They were new by face, race and pace. Ha ha and I was right there with a new face, in the race and with an extra pace. I always believe, if you "fail" at some point of time bounce back with extra power. No one would remember that you faltered. Life seemed to be in back on track. A new track...Untill that day!

I received a call from a friend. We were school friends and the last time we saw each other, 13 years had gone by. Never so close, suddenly we found each other to be the best pals around. Although not in the same town, we talked a million stars. Surprisingly we never talked so much even when we were in school. Yes, it happens sometimes. When there is a new begining, things seem to be new. All around the place. Hmmm... the vibes... the chats... the talks... all was having a different perspective.

When you interact for a longer time, you discover that the person on the other side has got somewhat similar experience with the life. She being a girl was bold enough to narrate the entire story to a person who was friend only though calls & chats. I should have felt sorry for her, but I didn't. Instead I developed compassion and care. I don't know how often it happens to others but it did happen to me.

                                                                          ---

I celebrated my birthday with the same old pals who were there in the begining. It was fun. We boozed and partied at our favourite desitnation which is somewhat 135 KMs away from here. Nobody was at content. We were laughing like wild beasts which eventually turned in roars. One of our pals struck the chord and topic of life partners and spouses errupted. I was doomed, being the youngest in the group. I had completed 25 years and these talli guys were asking me to get married..Sounds similar doesn't it.

I said,"Mein to pasand karbhi loon, mujhe bhi to koi pasand karna chahiye!".

"Kya baat kar raha hai, tujhe to koi problem nahi honi chahiye! Yea saala batayega nahi. Chhup ke shaadi kar lega aur phir ghar pe aake bolega.. Daada, yea dekho meri biwi!"

"Ha ha ha........" and the laughter continued

                                                                         ---

My mom was in ecstacy. She had received a marriage proposal for her 25 year old boy. But her ecstacy turned gloomy. I didn't mean to hurt her. But, I would not want to marry a person I didn't know. I'd rather fall in love again and then marry her. I told her the truth and she embraced me gracefully. She took me in her lap and a tear drop rolled on her cheek. I knew what she was thinking. We didn't talk much and I slept in her lap while she purred my hair.

That night I met my friend. I was meeting her after 12 long years. What happened when I met her?.. Here's the story http://eternalorchid.blogspot.com/2010/05/i-met-her-again-was-it-dream-or-reality.html. Read it on

I was feeling all charged up. A feeling that would always make me feel elated. I had read it somewhere,"If you see a person you like, in your dreams, you must be in love"... Hmmm....

Why is it that I can feel her only in my dreams - Acceptance (Part-1)

It was the peak of Summer and wind was burning the epidermis to the core. I'was returning from the land of desert to my place where my parents lived. It was not a fun trip. I used to do the thing I loved as my profession, Training (which I still do by the way). Recession had taken its toll on everyone and I believe no one was left unaffected. People were getting jobless. The wind was too hot on me. I was recalling all that had happened over my tenure. It was an amazing experience. Yes, I was asked to leave although with no grudges, I accepted it. I knew I had done well. Well, beyond my expectations and that's what mattered me the most. I realized, that my power lies in accepting the way as they come and that moment onwards I stopped blaming others for what was happening to me. I am not being modest but that was a change that I managed within me.

                                                                        ---

A month before that I got another amazingly shocking news. The love of my life chose somebody over me. Well, that was just the begining. She had guts to call me up and I had no words to question her back. My acceptance acted again. I received a call from her fiance. It was summer. I was suffering the heat on my skin and now the heat was burning me from within. I am sure you'd cry out loud. Most of them do. So did I. But with a difference, couldn't roll on my tears. How could I? Acceptance was still there. I was with my best pals on a vacation. And I was glad no body noticed that. Nor did I tell this to anyone. What difference would that make?

I came out of the hotel room and called up my mom,

"Hello, Peli gaandi ni sagai thai gai chhe! Ene congrats kai deje!

 "Pan evu to kevi rite possible chhe?

"E je kai pan hoi ene phone kari ne kai deje, tara paase number to chhe j!" I hung up the call. You'd wonder who would call up mom and ask her to congratulate the girl who just ditched you. Well guess what, I did that. Why did I do that? She was more close to her than me, in a real sense.

                                                                            ---

I was driving while travelling through the desert. With all the thoughts that were running in my head, I suddenly realized that I was not alone. I was accompanied by a person. A friend of mine who has been around me for "donkey years". So then, I was driving and he was sitting next to me. He was talking, while I was thinking about what I had "lost" in past few days. And guess what, the topic slowly changed towards marriage. He told me that I should find a suitable girl and start thinking about settling down in life. He was not aware about what had happend a month back. I didn't even bother to tell him. I replied.

"Hmm, sounds like a wonderful idea. Mein to pasand karbhi loon, mujhe bhi koi pasand karna chahiye".

Believe it or not, but when I said this, my past experience evaporated and I was ready for a new begining. Since then, I've never thought of what had happened, untill today as I pen this down. You'd wonder why. Acceptance was the third traveller with us. Besides, I think this will act as a chapter in this storyline.

Wish to become!

"I wish to become a fighter pilot... don't know how but I wish to...

"I guess getting into sports would be fun... Maybe playing soccer is a great option... No, I guess cricket is the best

"I feel like I am on stage.... part of the greatest rock band on this earth

"Well this time its final... being a part of a team who developed Apollo 101 feels great

" Hey Rodney, the landing gears are not working... should we call the traffic control

"Well, friends It was wonderful training you all.... Hope you all enjoyed it

"I am left with only one key word to add, and then my character would be ready to be animated

"Wonderful, wonderful, bravo.. you just completed 100mts in 9 seconds... Its a world record

"Powerful is the word my friends... and if you wish you all can attain what you've thought...Serenity is divine

"How do these people manage to remember the dialog where there are hundreds of people watching them.

"Seems like the Lioness is about to prowl... I've set the shutter speed, the focal length is ....

"And cut..... excellent shot!

Phew! too much for an ambition. What should I choose what should I not? It would be hard if the thought of becoming all of these at once would pop up. Every child growing up has his / her list of ambitions and what one becomes, is a sheer stroke of what he decides, based on his experiences and inclinations towards certain profiles, while growing up. I don't remember anyone at the age of 4 saying he wanted to become a pilot, and he did. But there are people who have done what they wanted to do all their life.

Circumstances, the upbringing, the passion, the possibilities, the exposure, the inclination and niche.... leads to the a final goal in life. Now you are kidding. All these doesn't even contribute, a little less to what a person becomes ultimately. For me, it is wonderful!

Happy Valentine's Day

For winds my gust,
For birds may fly,
A little bit of hello,
A small bit of hi,

The first of the kiss,
The best of the bliss,
The face with the glow,
We'll take it slow

I'll not even beg,
I'll not even ask,
I am what I am,
I don't wear a mask

For once I'd want
You to say Fine
I just want to ask
Will you be my Valentine?

Happy Valentine's Day